I Wrote You a Sad Letter



February 01, 2018

02:54 A.M


This morning I found my heart still aching, hurting, breaking and groaning and grunting and agonizing. I’ve been here a lot of times. Familiar. Unending, a surviving setting of 2 or 3 A.M… again and again and again, unrelenting. Ask me who has gone to this place over and over again. It’s me again.

“The thing about PAIN is that it needs to be felt. “

                                                            -John Green

Continue reading “I Wrote You a Sad Letter”

This is a mess.

I’m here again. The least thing I know. Being here. Foremost, I really do not know how to shape my own blog(first mess). And I got no one to help me fix this blog(second mess). If this won’t work for a long time, this blog might disappear and be the blog that you didn’t know exist (third and last mess, i guess).

Everything inside me is unstable. They’re like electrons or something that keep runninng inside. They wouldn’t rest. Or stare for a while. That tinkling and irratating feeling that shouts: “YOU BETTER STUDY AND DO SOMETHING BECAUSE IT’ S GONNA BE EXAM ON THE 24th” . That’s it! The exam’s magnifying me that i felt so small as it comes. It’s pounding every heartbeat i have. It sometimes doubles the beat. Bold. Heavy. Large.

Things seem to turn around. They turn to unexpected hopes i never thought.

From me to you

Hi. Have you ever tried waking up at 3 AM? Upon waking up, I found out that there is this strange feeling.
I paused and saw my bed. It was a very cold dawn. The strange feeling that I felt developed into a heavy one.
I gave my lungs a three-deep-breathe. It didn't ease the feeling. I tried to sleep again. I couldn't. It's just
that the feeling is uncontrollable. I was trying to figure out where that  feeling has originated. I don't know where.
Then, I was awake til morning.